Life is a prison, Oh God let me out. No one to listen, To hear when you shout. Climb the walls of insanity, Ride the waves of despair. If you fall it don't matter, There's no one to care. Used to wish for a window, To see birds, trees and sky, But you're better without one - Stops you aiming too high. Watching freedom is painful, For those locked away. Seeing joy, love and happiness, Another price that you pay. Strong is good, weak is bad. Be it false, be it true. Your mind makes the choice, And enforces it too. Cell walls built by society, With rules to adhere. If you breach the acceptable, You had better beware. Hide the pain, carry on, Routine is the key. Don't let on that you're not, What you're pretending to be. Lock it all up inside you, How badly that bodes. Look out for that one day, When it all just explodes. Leaving naught but a shell, Base functionality too. But killing all else,
That was uniquely you. So how do you grow,
With a timebomb inside?
Or how to defuse it,
Without destroying its ride?
You can't.

~~~~~~~~~
Her face is puffy and red, while painful tears stream down her sad face. She cries out loudly, hoping someone will hear her silent screams. So many voices going through her head, telling her how better she would feel if she were dead. She places her shaking hands over her ears, trying not to listen. She yells out once again for help, yet no one comes to her rescue. She then remains sitting there on her cold bathroom floor, while the clock ticks by. Her body begins to shake uncontrollably, unable to stop it all. Starting to realize that no one cares, feeling so alone and helpless. She finally comes to the decision that there is only one thing left to do. She brings her shaking hands together, closes her eyes and prays. She speaks to god one last time and tells him this: "Lord, I'm so tired and the pain inside doesn't want to go away. I can no longer shed anymore tears, for my eyes hurt me really bad. The voices in my head don't want to go away. My heart aches so bad that it's become too unbearable for me. No one loves me, no one cares, no one wants me, and no one can help me now. I tried being the good girl everyone wanted, but it wasn't good enough. All I wanted was for someone to love me God. Was I asking too much? I'm so sorry God but I have to end my suffering the only way I know how. Please forgive me God for what I'm about to do." She opens her eyes for the last time, and quickly grabs for the razor blade. She forces the sharp blade against her wrist. She starts slitting her veins, deeper and deeper into her flesh. The dark blood pours out more and more onto the floor all over. Feeling weaker and weaker, becoming more and more unconscious by the seconds, the blade drops from her hand onto that cold floor, her final resting place. Her cold body now collapses to the floor and she slowly begins to feel the pain fade away along with her soul, finally falling into an endless sleep. She lays there dead, yet free of pain. It is now quiet, no screams, no tears, no suffering, just utter silence.....


For Michael:


I feel you in the morning
When at first I awake
Your thought is with me
With each decision I make
You'd been around forever
Since the first breath I took
Now I have to go on alone
But for love, I need not look

Cause by what you bestowed
In our short time together
Will last in my heart
Forever and ever

Although you've left
And now walk above
I'm never alone
I'm wrapped in your love

Enjoy now your long waited reward
Feel peace that your love continues on
What was taught to me, will be taught to mine
Cause you live on in me even after you've gone